Let’s be honest—those of us who nerd out on the Enneagram are often deeply reflective, introspective, and hungry to know ourselves. And while that self-awareness is a gift, it can sometimes slide into self-absorption without us even noticing. The Enneagram, for all its insight into the inner life, isn’t meant to trap us inside our own psyche. Instead, we can consciously use the tools found within the Enneagram, to help us become more compassionate, connected, and curious about others. What if our daily question shifted from “Why am I like this?” to “How can I see and honor someone else’s essence today?”

Let’s begin with a review of the centers of intelligence, spectacles through which we view reality.  

Folks in the Body Center (8, 9, 1) perceive the world through their intuition and body.  They have a unique relationship with action.  Eights are constantly in action, mentally, emotionally, or physically.  They do not hesitate to share their thoughts and emotions, or do what needs to be done. Nines wrestle with inertia; they have trouble getting started, but once they get going, they have trouble stopping. Because they can be disconnected from their body-self, they may fall into inaction, even when they know action is needed.  Ones are frequently viscerally frustrated and seek to improve themselves, other people, and systems, which motivates them to lead by example and inspire others to act.

Heart Center people (2, 3, 4) perceive the world through their feelings or emotions.  They have a unique relationship to the emotions, either from within themselves or understanding them in others.  Twos gauge the emotional dimensions of people around them and are able to navigate interactions at a social-emotional level.  They befriend others and anticipate their needs.  Threes notice and interpret the emotions of others, and make decisions about how to act pragmatically, based upon perception; but Threes are, themselves, disconnected from their own emotional depth.  Fours are incredibly introspective and have the capacity to experience the full breadth of human emotion, true gurus of the inner landscape.

Individuals in the Head Center (5, 6, 7) perceive the world through their intellect, or mind.  The Five’s cognitive competency and investigative capacity is unrivaled; ever-curious, they seek to understand the world’s complexities and can become lost in their interior mind-castle.  The Six experiences a deep need for security, and as a result, is able to troubleshoot problems with excellence.  They are champions of interdependence and committed relationships.  A Seven will be drawn to new and more exciting experiences, optimistic and multi-talented, they push society toward innovation, yet avoid what seems to limit them and maintain a mental busyness as a coping mechanism.

Just as we all abide in our primary intelligence center, we also operate from a primary instinctive posture.  Let’s dive into the foundations of subtype, or instinctual variants.  

Our species has survived largely from innate needs that are hardwired into our biology.  The Self Preservation instinct keeps us alive through helping us get our basic needs met.  Sexual instinct (sometimes called One-to-One) allows us to make important human to human connections.  The Social instinct drives us to care for our communities as a whole.  Similar to how we can access both of our Wings, each individual type has access to each instinct.  One of the instincts may be dominant, another is more auxiliary, and another still  is a type of blind spot.

There is a reason, perhaps many, that all of Earth’s people are not grouped into a single intelligence center or instinctual variant.  We are gifted with each other: the combination of each number type with each instinctual variant, plus the favored wings gives us a vast pool of human ingenuity.  Consider this your invitation to be curious and honor the gifts of other human perspectives.

Identify your own center of intelligence, then identify your own dominant instinct.  As you move through your day, notice, simply notice.  How do you make choices?  Why do you focus on certain things?  What is the style of engagement you favor?  Any time you come into conflict, instead of reacting, consider whether the other party might be viewing the world through a different intelligence center.  Consider whether their survival instinct may be initiating something different for them, than what yours initiates for you. Especially in a global community, where digital information is available immediately, it is imperative that we use our self-knowledge in a way that ushers us towards empathy for our fellow human beings.

The Enneagram gives us maps for understanding our inner terrain, but it also invites us to journey beyond ourselves. When we honor the distinct ways people perceive reality, through their bodies, hearts, and minds, and when we respect the instinctual drives that shape human behavior, we move from self-absorption to sacred empathy. This is not about fixing others or erasing ourselves, but about widening the lens. So as you go about your day, may you remember: your way of seeing the world is valid, but it’s not the only way. Let self-awareness be your gateway to compassion, and let compassion become your practice. The more we recognize and affirm the diversity of human experience, the more fully we participate in what it means to be human.

Izabela Cormier is a Spiritual Director, Retreat Leader, and musical theater kid at heart. She has been a student of the Enneagram for over 10 years and applies it everyday in her spiritual formation ministry at Porch Swing Soul Care. In recent years, the journey of motherhood has added a whole new dimension to enneagram exploration in her personal life.  When gifted with free time, Izabela enjoys visiting local, quirky, New Orleans coffee shops and dreaming of ways to make the world a more delightful place.