Ichazo’s Ego-Melan, Fours are broadly known as the type most comfortable with the deep or difficult emotions that most types would soon avoid. Most Fours will tell you they not only don’t mind sadness, they find something bittersweet in being able to hold the sadness or melancholy (think Shakespeare’s “parting is such sweet sadness”). The Four is often labeled the Individualist, the Romantic, or the Creative, though none of these descriptions is quite adequate (but this could just be the Four in myself coming out here). For one, they are not necessarily any more or less creative than any other type. For another, there are loaded associations with the terms “romantic” and “individualist.” C.S. Lewis, for instance, documented in his first book (The Pilgrim’s Regress) twelve different meanings of the word “romantic.” And “individualist” implies they may not be good team players, which is no more or less true for many other types and subtypes. Their passion of envy is key to understanding their attraction to the arts and artful expression. It is also why you can often tell them apart from all other types because they really want to be understood so they often express themselves in highly verbal, open-ended, sincere ways. If Fours are anything, they are sincere (the term “authentic” implies a truer form of realness, which not all Fours have conscious access to).

Defining Characteristics of the Four Type

You could say the Fours’ passion puts them naturally at odds with others in the form of whether they have more or less than what others possess. Other than Twos, they are the most directly connected to their emotions. The gigantic difference between these two heart types, however, is that Twos will think about others first (as a way of getting their needs met), and Fours will think about themselves first (also as a way of getting their needs met).

With that said, Fours are incredibly relational. This is why it seems important to discern the typical labels associated with Fours. You will find them in all walks of life. They may not tend toward accounting, finance, or computer science, but you will find Fours who are coaches, counselors, teachers, ministers, outdoor enthusiasts, human resource personnel, or even doctors and lawyers, to name a few. To some extent, you could say these jobs or vocations could fit any type, and you would be right. But I want to make clear that the “aesthetic sensitivity” and “inclination to the arts” is overdone and inadequate when it comes to defining and describing Fours.

Let’s focus on an aspect that seems underdone in the literature: their relational skills. Fours are highly empathic and attuned to the emotional space between themselves and others. In fact, Fours also have an innate ability to pick up on the feelings of others, very often without even knowing it. Many Fours report shifts in their own moods based on the emotions of others they pick up on, a concept known as introjection. A Four wants to “connect” with you. They are automatically considering whether they are experiencing connection with you and you with them.

Self-Preservation Four, Shay Bocks says this about introjection and its connection to envy and longing:

“We’re all pretty familiar with the idea of projection where we take our internal experience and project that out on others and assume others are having that same experience. But what Fours do is we actually pick up and sense emotions, thoughts, feelings, outside of ourselves, and bring them in as if they are ours, or that they mean something about us. And so when people talk about Fours being self-referencing, and some people think of Fours as being very self involved, that’s not my experience of Fours, really. I think what they’re really describing is this sense that Fours pick up stuff, especially emotional content, and kind of swallow it as our own. And so not only are we being down on ourselves, because maybe you’re having a bad day, and I just took that as like, I’m unworthy of being in your presence, but also, this is where envy comes in. We envy so much that we actually take on other people’s negative emotions, and pretend like they’re our own. And, and so that’s how we end up being so melancholic and seeing what’s missing, seeing the negative, because this is the information we’re picking up from the world around us.”

When Fours aren’t as conscious of their inherent relational abilities they may very well expend unnecessary energy seeking to connect with virtually everyone they come into contact with, from the receptionist at the doctor’s office to the doctor herself to the UPS delivery driver to the online support representative. Why do they do this? Because, in effect, they want to be that one special person that has something different to say than the usual mundane exchanges that must take place in another’s life. They will be the person to be “real” where no one else is. And while the inclination may be admirable, it is not necessary or called for in many situations. Also, it tends to leave a less conscious Four with the restless feeling that nothing was really accomplished and that they are still in “lack” of the connection they were seeking or expressing—and is therefore a waste of energy. Our energy is limited, and as a part of our conscious work, we do well to galvanize our resources and direct them in more powerful and productive ways.

What is not a waste of energy is to recognize the power of their relational intuition and to do something with it that brings them into the world and in contact with others. Because of their focus on “being real,” Fours focus on their personal identity much more than most types. They love talking about their “passions” and “callings” and how they personally interpret their life in meaning-filled ways. Naturally, at less conscious levels, this self-referencing behavior can disintegrate into self-absorption. But when consolidated in healthy, mature, and more conscious directions, and they are able to turn the reference toward others, they can find themselvesequipped for all manner of vocations that have to do with helping others discern what to do with their lives.

What is more commonly known about Fours, and which should not be overlooked, is their value on originality, often in the form of aesthetic and creative sensibilities. The depth of their feelings in combination with their value to be real or “truth-tell” translates into simple expressions not being enough to adequately express the insight or revelation.

Fours are also commonly associated with “longing,” sometimes getting lost in themselves in nostalgia and confabulation. Also, perhaps because of the intensity and sensitivity to their emotions, they are prone to “making a big deal” out of something ordinary to everyone else. That is, they may get lost in the transcendence of a sunset, or take on the feeling of a windy autumn day with the leaves scattering along the empty road, or rain dripping from the gutters on a rainy spring day. You could almost say their natural predisposition to feeling tunes them into their surroundings, whether in nature in general or between other people, and they internalize them and “become” them. Thus, their inherent “specialness” is that they pick up on what others miss.

They want to interpret their finely-tuned sensibilities and communicate their profundity in ways that cannot always be expressed in words or other mundane or ordinary ways. So, they are either themselves often artists, poets, dancers, actors, musicians, novelists, memoirists, and other related artistic forms, or deeply appreciative of these human expressions which seek to communicate the extraordinary or layered nature of reality. Across the board of the three distinct subtypes, you can also identify Fours by their passion of envy (feeling deficiency or lack).

For all of that, there is another common perception of Fours that needs elucidation. Many Fours aren’t necessarily “melancholic” either in their interior life or the outer expression of it. What they often are is emotional in general. That is, of the four basic emotions Glad, Mad, Sad, and Fear, they may experience any and all of these with intensity, or if not intensity, at least with ready access. Don’t mistype a Four as a Seven just because she shows up to work in an upbeat or positive mood most of the time, or for an Eight just because he is often seen as irritable, intense, outspoken, or angry. These ranges of emotions are completely possible and common for Fours. A discerning evaluation of their overall behavior, however, might reveal some inconsistencies. For instance, sexual/one-to-one and self-preservation Sevens are almost compulsively positive. Fours will reflect a wider range of emotions, and if they are not in a great mood one day, they rarely disguise it. And they are far more sensitive than Eights.

Furthermore, Fours can look like Twos when they “become” their emotions, which effectively means they are so connected with their feelings that they aren’t even aware that there is consciousness separate from them. Unlike Twos, however, Fours are more known for getting into their heads, often in the form of analyzing their behavior and the behavior of others. Many Fours are actually highly analytical and intellectually curious, which seems a far cry from the stereotypes commonly portrayed and discussed.

Other than arguably Sixes, however, the difference between the Fours with their subtypes is the most distinctive. This underlies one of the principles we emphasize in the importance of discerning subtypes beyond mere general types. Some have theorized that the strong “variations on a theme” between the Fours is due to the intensity of their emotions.

The Passion of Four

Fours manifest a painful sense of lack, and a craving for what is felt as lacking in their (often unconscious) envy. There’s a perception that something good is outside the Four’s experience, and somehow this indicates a deficiency on their part. It’s the habit of comparing themselves to others and the feeling that derives from an ongoing comparison that puts them below or above another person. The inferiority/superiority complex is keen in other types as well (like Threes and Sixes) for different underlying reasons.

The passion of envy isn’t as obvious or perhaps as well known as others which we hear about in literature and religion like vanity, gluttony, pride and so forth. Importantly, envy is not jealousy. Jealousy is of an insidious nature, meaning not only do you see something someone else possesses but importantly, you believe you deserve it too and if at all possible you will take it. It is a more overt form of competition still related to scarcity. It is almost as if to say, “You have something that I don’t have, but I am equal to you in deserving it and it is inherently unfair that I don’t (and something should be done).”

By contrast, envy is invidious in nature, meaning you see something someone else possesses and feel that you are lacking because you don’t also possess it. It may end up transforming into something that a Four may feel he or she deserves, and thus creating a form of competition to get it too, but this is not typically the case. In general, Fours believe (internalize) they are inadequate. Deep down they believe they are amazing and talented, but that they have been overlooked for some reason. Some compare it to a “thwarted vanity.” Naranjo says as much when he writes, “While an ennea-type Three person identifies with that part of the self that coincides with the idealized image, the ennea-type Four individual identifies with that part of the psyche that fails to fit the idealized image, and is always striving to achieve the unattainable (97).”

Dante uses the metaphor of plunging the envious into freezing water, perhaps to lower the intensity of their yearning for what they lack. In Homer’s The Odyssey, we find the envious in Hades. While a direct interpretation may be difficult, since Hades is also the land of the dead, it is clear that all who are here are missing something.

There are many ways envy manifests itself. We have noted envy within as an essential feeling of self-disregard or minimization. Interpersonal envy is another: someone who possesses gifts or abilities that the Four internalizes as meaning he or she lacks something. It shows up in craving and depending on love. Interestingly, it emerges from an idealization of self, or love, or other, of this grand possibility of what could be “if only.” And it comes also in the form of social striving. The early 20th century French novelist Marcel Proust portrayed this very idealization of upper classes in the first several volumes of Remembrance of Things Past. Also, envy gets Fours stuck in an ever-perpetuating cycle of seeking the extraordinary and intense, along with feeling disappointment and disillusionment with the mundane.

It is important to remember that as heart types Fours’ essential core emotion is sadness, which seems emphasized in this personality structure, and that they too are image focused. Thus, while there are many ways in which Fours may feel inadequate, the focus is on how they are perceived or recognized or understood for who and what they are.

For Fours, the path forward is through the virtue of equanimity. Finding balance and wholeness within themselves and outside themselves in how they perceive others. It’s a new way to feel like “who I am is equal to who you are.” Equanimity also emphasizes simplicity (as in humility and plainness in style) and emotional neutrality. We will examine areas for concerted focus and growth through the work with wing stretches and arrow movements.

Functional Versus Authentic Personality

What, you may ask, is “authentic” personality to the personality that values authenticity? In part, that’s why in the opening introduction we didn’t necessarily subscribe to the idea that Fours are “authentic” per se. They may be earnest at times, or sincere, as well as blunt or even caustic to others in their form of “telling it like it is.” Authenticity contains the seeds of a little more self-awareness, as well as discernment for what is theirs to share, and some diplomacy in how to deliver their evaluation. Further, Fours have a tendency to overshare or hold someone hostage with having to track paragraphs worth of words with something that could be said much more precisely, directly, and clearly. Is all of that “authentic”?

Overall, we can see the functional aspect of Fours working well in their drive for originality and thinking outside the box. When the work they do aligns with their identity, all three subtypes can be highly effective and driven. Their moods tend to fluctuate, however, and they can turn from outgoing and vivacious to quiet, reflective, and withdrawn. Whether they know it or not, they are empaths. They have an intuitive ability to listen and absorb what others have to say and reflect back to them what they feel.

At the same time, their natural inclination is to consider what these feelings and feedback mean to them. Because of their tendency to go inward they may lose connections with friends or even loved ones without even meaning to. Often they won’t know what they’ve done when they do reach out or try to reconnect. This is a pattern reflected in all the varied differences between the subtypes.

In essence, freed from many of the unconscious strictures and distortions of unconscious personality patterns, Fours can do two important things. Through the virtue of equanimity, they can find more interior calm and emotional balance. They don’t ride the wave of the highs and lows that their intense emotions issue forth. Also, they can become more aware of when through their defense mechanism of introjection they are absorbing the emotional atmosphere outside of themselves. Through this awareness they can build clearer boundaries with others’ emotions, which also will help them remain more balanced.

Second, they can grow in greater awareness of how they tend to think of themselves first before considering the impact on others. Whereas Twos need to work on putting themselves before others, the reverse is true for Fours. This level of awareness can aid in their social lives, and also make them more effective leaders and employees in the workplace.

Excerpted from Shock Point: The Enneagram in Burnout and Stress by Chad Prevost, Ph.D. used with permission.

Shock Point uses the explosion in stress research with a psychological overlay, giving you a comprehensive and accessible entry point into your type and subtype. Gain insight into the many macro and wider cultural forces that play into our burnout epidemic. Most importantly, learn the Enneagram as you never have before. Learn to use it as a tool for growth and expansion out of chronic stress and into a consciously-designed life. 

Dr. Chad Prevost is an organizational consultant specializing in communication, leadership, and self-awareness. He is a certified ontological coach, also certified as an Enneagram professional, in Mindfulness, and is a Leadership Circle Profile 360 facilitator. He loves balancing these tools to form a comprehensive coaching program for people living in chronic stress and disconnection. He also hosts The Humanist podcast.